The Conscience Within by Roy Masters – part 3 of 4Published June 2, 2019
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The Conscience Within by Roy Masters
part 3 of 4
Resentment, rage, and hostility siphon off all that is good in you, the real you along with the good image. Rejection! That’s the word. We all have this terrible fear of rejection along with a growing need for acceptance. Psychologists will always tell you–wrongly, of course–that this need for approval is normal, but it is abnormal for human beings. You should not feel the need for approval. You should not need the love of the world.
There is something about this odd need for approval that is so deeply wrong that it doesn’t want to see anything wrong about the whole process it uses in going about its business of reconstructing reality for the sake of crating a finer image of itself for the outsider’s mirror. It is something terribly wrong on the inside that drives a person to need so much support from the outside.
If your were right, whatever “right” is, if you were whole, a better word perhaps because “right” conjures up an image of hypocrisy and self-righteousness, pomposity. If you were whole, complete, you wouldn’t need to complete yourself to anybody, would you? But the fact is that you have an inordinate need to complete yourself to something. Something is missing. So naturally, unnaturally really, but unfortunately quite natural for all of us is the need to go to the outside to compensate for an inner lack with the approval of other people. In other words, we tend to reconstruct ourselves from the world around us.We make up from below, i.e., the world outside composed of the opinions and praise of others, what we have lost from within and above.
We make up from without and below, the world around us, through the senses, what we have lost from within and above. This craving is like drinking salt water: the more you drink, the thirstier you get, and you become the slave of the thirst until the slavishness of it kills you. You absolutely work yourself to death for the hive, or for some ungrateful s.o.b.
Deeds that evoke opinions upon which the image you have of yourself rests separate you from your own real internal core and have no substance in reality. You build a shallow, substance-less human being in seeking approval from an idol. What is even worse about this process is that the idol is a tyrant and always will be. Any time you empower a person to approve of you by seeing you in a certain light as though you were some kind of god, to love and look up to you, you make a savior of that person. And he can’t save you. No one can save you. We appoint our “saviors,” our ministers, doctors, alcohol, and drugs, to make up for the guilt we feel for not being whole.
The question is: whole with what? The imperious ego within us, ensconced on the throne of our senses, sucks up all the praise it can, sensually reconstructs itself, and thumbs its nose at reality, you see. That’s how you become an artificial person, and your whole sense of being becomes dependent on the world.
The kamikaze pilots who committed suicide by ramming their planes into American battleships–so you think they could say no? Do you think the Arab terrorists who tie themselves to their bombs could in any way refuse to something so stupid? No. People whose life is built on the approval of other people, society, live in fear of its being withdrawn, because if that approval is withdrawn, what is left is a terrible conflict, a terrible feeling of death and dying and conflict with one’s true self. They can’t say no to such a demand from the emperor–they would rather be dead than wrong.
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